50mm f/1.4
The nights are getting colder. I'm loving it. I want to go to my secret getaway in Athens, lay down in the field and star gaze while shivering from the cold, and be in good company of another person. Just talk about life and well... nonsense. Though it sounds much like I'm a hopeless romantic, I really love doing stuff like that. The long walks on a beach, quietly sipping on coffee at a cafe while exchanging a few words here and there, and just... being in good company.
There's so much that I want to do; so much I want to share with people; yet, I rarely find anyone that truly understands this side of me and is willing to enjoy these kinds of things with me. So what if we just sit in silence for a while? Enjoy the company. I believe in silent conversations. Sometimes you can understand someone in silence more than when they open their mouths. Verbally conversing may be intellectually stimulating, which most people want, but silent observation can eventually bring about the same stimulus to oneself - which in turn can be spoken about at a later time. Kind of like thinking before you speak. I don't know if I'm making any sense here.
I look forward to this weekend. Possibly see some faces I haven't seen in a while. Reminisce, maybe. Talk about random things. Talk about years ago. Nothing extravagant - but, simplicity, you know?
I also look forward to next weekend in Chattanooga. It's nice getting away from the bustle of this huge city of Atlanta; as well as getting away from the stresses in Athens. I just need to get away from the typical routine, people, places. I want something new. Something refreshing - where no one else knows who I am; where I don't have to worry about running into people and acquaintances everywhere I go; where I can just be myself.
Why am I still up?
I'm probably getting tired, though I don't feel it. Sometimes, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts wanting to be released in some form of talking or writing. In this case, it's the latter since the former would just make me look crazy considering there is no human body here with me; though Junior is sometimes quite the listener. Either way, people would think I'm crazy ranting to a dog at 1:30AM, and though I love the boy, I'm not that crazy... yet. Hah.
Sometimes I just miss being comfortable, yet so uncomfortable. Being happy, yet miserable at the same time. Feeling like things were really settling, only to be unsettling in the end.
Where are my friends when I need them?
Probably asleep like normal people should be.
Stop overanalyzing your thoughts, Ivy. How many times have I told you?
Good night, loves.
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